A Chronic Voice blog site has monthly get togethers for anyone with a chronic illness. Each month there are writing prompts. This is my first stab at the exercise. For September our prompts are: Reconnecting, Confessing, Romanticizing, Relaxing,and Sharing. These are my responses. 

This September I am Reconnecting with why I started to blog in the first place. It was the science that hooked me. 

 New and emerging research shows that anyone can get a new mindset the minute they step outside. And man, do I need a new mindset. Mine can get bleak, hopeless, and desperate in a flash. 

I got the diagnosis of systemic lupus two years ago. It flattened me. I had no interest in learning any chronic illness coping skills. Too hard, too many, not fun, and why bother?

Then  I learned the hard science that shows the winds carry medicinal tree aerosols. I went outside. A lot. This is why I started my blog — I wanted to share how spending time close to trees saved me. 

But if I dig a little deeper, it really was the chronic illness diagnosis that got me on these wooded trails. My sister sent me an unsourced quote  “if you want to be healthy, get a serious disease and work through it.” So true. 

On my blog so far, I have not talked that much about Lupus. I have written a few posts, but they are not front and centre. Trees are the stars.

But it is time to give Lupus its due. Lupus is my motivator, my new employee. And I am the manager. Together we get things done, then we rest, and try it again. It is an iterative process. But I have to stay on top of this employee, keep it happy, so it will work with me. My lupus today is well controlled. And this is no accident. 

So this September I am reconnecting with my disease. I changed the blurb on my blog to include chronic illness. Science and chronic illness go together. I am identifying with groups of supportive chronic illness bloggers.

I must Confess, I am in way over my head. I started my blog a year ago, and that has so many requirements. I can barely keep up.

Now on top of that, I am trying to write a book. I have never done this. And I am trying to write it about my chronic illness journey (that I rarely even talk about). 

We all have journeys, so why do I feel so compelled to document mine? I think because it feels good. I think because it is helping me figure things out for myself. I think because my work on this might help one person to feel better — a lot better. 

I even signed up for a course on how to write a non-fiction book. I did this to force myself to do it. I knew the investment alone would jolt me into action. And it has.

I am now dedicating 20 minutes a day to writing it. It does not sound like much, but it is adding up. And most days I do it.

My instructor says to get stickers to put on the calender for the days that I manage to write. I like that idea but have not got the stickers yet.

I am practicing Relaxing. I want to be more at ease with my disease and my new life. Breathing helps. And breathing while outside really helps.

I try to remember to do this every time I step outside. I try to get outside and breathe several times a day.

When I am at the computer working on my blog, I am trying to stop after 20 minutes. I unfold my stiff legs, step outside and breathe.

I am also trying to read more fiction again. I was a great reader before the diagnosis. After that life got serious.

Now I want to play around in words again. I have a few books on my bedside table now. I can relate to ” The Hundred Year Old Man Who Climbed Out of the Window And Disappeared” . This man has nothing to lose. His world opens up. This makes me think of those of us with chronic illness — our worlds widen for the same reason.

 I Romanticize about being a writer. I dream about writing fiction in addition to non-fiction.

I want to be the Alice Munro of the forest. I dream of writing small stories of emotions in the woods.The characters will be together, alone, or when they think they are alone.

I have not even written a non-fiction book yet. And I find it difficult enough to pump out a weekly blog post. Yet I am romanticizing about the life of a writer in a little cabin in the woods. It could be me.

It takes alot of courage to Share — or is that we feel (much like the 100 year old man) that we have little to lose by going public?  It is not easy to put ourselves out there. We all know this now. But for some reason we have taken the steps. We face the risks. We face the fear. We have not quit.

Sharing does help us to cope with it all. With one another we feel safe to confess, to share, to reconnect, and to relax. And in this process we create communities.

We garner support for our work — whether or not we have a chronic illness. And in the end, maybe this is what blogging and writing is about: finding our own way and helping each other along the path.